IC Journal

[willing_sheath]

CANON TIMELINE

September 1845--Born
(June 1849--Kenshin born)
May 1854--Enishi is born, mother dies, Tomoe age 8/9
Spring 1862--betrothed to Kiysatto Akira, marriage set for Spring 1863, Tomoe age 16/17, Enishi age 6/7
Fall 1862--Kiyosatto joins Mimawari-gumi, wedding delayed to Spring 1864, Tomoe age 17, Enishi age 7
(Early 1863--Kenshin quarrels with Hiko and leaves, joins Kiheitai and is taken to Kyoto with Katsura Kogoro, Kenshin age 13/14)

1864
Early March--Kiyosatto is killed in Kyoto
April 4th--news of Kiyosatto's death arrives from Kyoto
Mid-April--Tomoe runs away to Kyoto
Late April--Tomoe arrives in Kyoto and is found by the Yaminobu
Early May--Meets Kenshin and is brought to the Kohagiya
Mid-May--discussion of "madness" with Katsura Kogoro
Late May--window incident, "now a sheath to hold back your madness"
June 5th--Ikedaya Affair
July 18th--Kinmon Incident
Late July--Kenshin and Tomoe are married and go into hiding outside Otsu, Tomoe age 18, Kenshin age 15
Late December--Enishi arrives in Otsu
December 31st--Tomoe dies, Tomoe age 19, Kenshin age 15, Enishi age 10

Comments

May 1864

[willing_sheath]

I am inside of an inn operating as a Choshuu base... So much has happened in the last day I do not know where I begin. so much has happened in only the last few hours... my mind is a blur and I have no idea what to think or believe anymore...

I went to the pub I was instructed to go to and I saw him almost immediately... but it seemed as though I couldn't possibly be right. The man with the red hair was barely a man at all, but a boy who had to just barely be past genpuku. I thought that surely I was mistaken--until I saw the scar. It runs from high on his cheek bone nearly to the corner of his mouth. It was too distinctive paired with the hair to be a coincidence. I sat with my back to him at the next table, with no idea how to put myself in his path as anything more than a passing glance. I had caught the attention of seemingly every patron of the pub aside from him just being a woman drinking alone. That fact solved the puzzle for me.

It wasn't more than a few minutes from my arrival that two drunks forced their way into my space, demanding my attention. A simple demand for me to pour their sake, claiming I owed them as the Aizu Ishin Shishi fighting for the commoners. Someone in the room called them fools because Aizu is allied with the bakufu and they became more belligerent, preparing to draw their swords. I was frozen, mere inches away and powerless with drunkards possibly capable of anything... They stopped, saying how it was a close call for someone when the room went silent to their visual threat--or maybe it's because they saw him move. He was in front of them in an instant and blocked the ringleader's draw with his palm when he tried to draw again when he spoke. The words are burned in my mind, "It certainly was. If you had drawn that sword you would have been fighting me." But it wasn't his words that had the impact, it was the presence radiating from him. Despite his stature, the menace toward the men who had threatened us was palpable, and they fled like scurrying rats.

He said nothing more to any of us, only paid his bill and apologized to the proprietor for causing a scene.

I simply could not process what I had just experienced. How could this possibly have been the demon I was told about who had killed one hundred men? How could this be the monster who murdered Kiyosatto-sama? How could it be when he had just saved me from what could have easily led to molestation or worse?

I followed him. No longer because it was what the Yaminobu had ordered me to do, but because I needed to know those answers. I had been led to believe Battousai was a bloodthirsty killer. It had to be a mistake...

But the truth of it was made perfectly clear to me.

I felt the warmth hit my face and soak through my kimono without realizing what had just happened before me. I began speaking before it solidified in my mind. "I followed you to thank you for what you did," and mid-sentence it came into focus. I had walked onto the scene of a duel. It was one of the Yaminobu--Murakami, the one armed with chained swords--and Battousai. I had come in close enough that I was sprayed by Murakami's blood when he was killed. Battousai was staring at me in utter shock at my presence while I somehow continued to speak even as the sight of the blood and the repugnant coppery smell filled my nose in a way that overwhelmed my senses. "They say at tragic scenes a rain of blood falls--but you truly made it rain blood."

I felt myself pass out from the sight of all the blood and I did not expect to wake up again. Not only had I seen his face, but I'd seen him kill. There was no way I could be left alive...

And yet I did wake again... and was completely unharmed. I was alone in a room with him. He was barely a yard from me, propped against the wall asleep, his sword resting against his shoulder like a lifeline. Even with what I'd seen it was difficult to remember I had watched him kill a man. I did not wake him. Instead I moved on to try to discover where he had taken me.

It is an inn--the Kohagiya--and when I found my way down to the kitchens my presence was barely questioned, simply "Ah, you're the girl Himura-san brought home last night." Again the fact that I cannot show my emotions properly has been a strength. I do not think my agitation came through. Okami-san, the proprietor's wife, put me to work in the kitchen almost immediately, and I welcomed it. The busy work and illusion of normalcy allowed me to sort through my thoughts or at least stave off panic.

He came charging down to the kitchens in search of Okami-san when he woke, likely to ask her of my whereabouts. She seems to know the comings and goings of everyone who passes through the building. It is something to remember.

His real name is Himura Kenshin. He is awkward. Very unlike the man I saw last night, as though he doesn't quite know how to interact with people unless a sword is involved. Or, perhaps, it is simply because he is trying to interact with me. I am well aware that I unnerve people with my bluntness and seriousness. In another time, another place, or if he were anyone else, perhaps I would feel guilt for that, but all things considered I have no reason to curb my aloofness, especially when it is my only real protection here.

I will be staying in his room. That is simply the design of it. I already know half the men here believe me to be a samurai daughter sold into prostitution, either 'working' or run away. Before the idea being in this room would have terrified me, but I can tell already that I have nothing to fear. Mere innuendo from the other men turns him to a sputtering mess... and I can't imagine someone putting a stop to crass behavior only to repeat it himself. This is where he was finally able to corner me to make his demands. Simply put: to forget what I saw and leave. I asked if he would silence me as he had the other man if I didn't. He was indignant at the suggestion, spouting about how he would only strike down men bearing swords for the shogunate. "And if I held a sword right now, would you?" I stunned him into silence. I left him there with that question hanging in the air and told him to let me know when he had an answer.

I imagine I should be giving myself a similar line of questioning.

I have already lost my resolve to carry out this plot. I can feel it. I think I lost it the moment I saw him and he wasn't what I expected. Only more so with his actions at the pub and again after I witnessed him kill. Even if he is the man who killed Kiyosatto-sama, I don't know that I can be the instrument of his death--but what can I do? They are watching me as they were watching him. If I leave they will know and they will find me... so what other choice do I have than to stay? I am such a fool... only days ago I felt as though I longed for death... and now I fear it. Or is it that I fear it being taken from my control?

I don't know...

(cw: suicidal ideation)

[girlofsteele]

[everybody hates having control taken from them. that's like a thing. a normal thing. and while it's easy to say or think "I want to die," actually following through with it is another matter. on some level, she'd wanted to die when she left Christian, but she found herself here instead. and was roused out of that impulse by dealing with here. so maybe what Tomoe had needed wasn't death, but change?

she doesn't know. she's just spitballing here]