IC INBOX

[willing_sheath]

[A standard pre-recorded message starts:]

Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system. [There are a few long moments of dead silence before someone draws a breath speaks in a stiff, uncomfortable tone:] Himura Tomoe... [and another long few seconds of silence where she apparently didn't realize how to stop the recording.] is not available. At the tone, please record your message. When you have finished recording, you may hang up or press one for more options. To leave a callback number, press five.

[BEEP]



[ooc; for action spam to be counted as log activity feel free to comment to my annual log under the appropriate month]

Comments

text: un; apparition (backdated to before the event)

[unphase]

HELP.

un: Himura.Tomoe

[willing_sheath]

Tinya-san? What's wrong? Are you alright?

[unphase]

I'm not all right. My entire life here kind of got flipped upside down and I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

[willing_sheath]

What's happened?



Would you rather meet that speak here?

[While she appreciates the ability to communicate over distance and the fact that she can edit and see exactly what she says before sending it.... it's not necessarily the best in this sort of situation.]

[unphase]

Yes. Is it okay for me to come over to your place?

[willing_sheath]

Yes, of course.

[unphase]

Okay, I'll be right over.

[and less than twenty minutes later, there's a knock at the door. Tinya's looking decidedly disheveled. she's wearing one of her usual white dresses, but she's forgotten her coat and is clinging at her own arms, trying to rub some warmth into them]

Thank you, thank you, thank you for letting me come over. It's just. Something has happened and I thought you might understand.

[willing_sheath]

[Tomoe is actually almost looking like herself again, it only took a month, that wasn't a long time, was it? The only thing of note that is different at all is a small, dainty ring on her left hand.]

[When she sees Tinya--and more specifically her half frozen state--she exclaims, reaching out to touch her hands and arms.]

M-mattaku--you're freezing! [She proceeds to mother hen Tinya into the flat, directing her into the sitting area and immediately moving to find her a blanket to throw around her shoulders, not taking no for an answer.]

[unphase]

[and thank the Mistress for that. she'd been so worried for Tomoe during all of this, but she does notice the ring and makes a note to ask about it later]

Yeah, I'm sorry. I've kind of been. Distracted lately.

[she lets herself be ushered in and given a blanket. she clutches at the sides of it, holding it closely around herself]

It's just...I told you a little about my boyfriend back home, right? And about Hunk here?

[willing_sheath]

[She was right to be worried. Although Tomoe isn't mentally healthy by any stretch of the imagination she has at least returned to being outwardly functional.]

No, don't be sorry... [She tuts, sitting beside her after getting the blanket around her and continuing to fuss, smoothing the girl's hair and checking her cheeks and forehead for any signs of fever until she's satisfied Tinya hasn't managed to catch her death.]

[She focuses as Tinya speaks and nods. How could she forget? Considering that conversation had been at the front of the minefield her life had become for the two weeks following it.]

You did...

[unphase]

[while Tinya feels like she can watch her personal life collide like two fast-moving trains and leaving wreckage in the wake.

the touch is soothing, but she's not sure she deserves to be soothed right now]

...well. Um. I'm in love with Hunk. And my boyfriend showed up in the new arrivals and of course I still love him, too.

[willing_sheath]

[She exhales slowly, leaning back against the sofa cushions.]

I see...

[She pauses a moment and then puts an arm around the other girl, letting her hand rest just behind her shoulder. She sits like that for a long fe moments, debating on what to say, because god knew there was no right thing.]

And... do you know how they feel for you...? Hunk-san in particular...?

[unphase]

[and Tinya briefly sits forward, resting her head in her hands.

she sits back on the sofa and leans into Tomoe as she puts her arm around Tinya, then sighs heavily and tries to not tear up]

I know. They both love me.

[willing_sheath]

[She nods slowly. That both made it better and worse. She moves her arm further around the other girl, moving the other to rest on Tinya's hand.]

...

Have you spoken to either of them... about the other...?

[unphase]

[she takes comfort in Tomoe's efforts, even if she's not sure she deserves to be comfortable right now]

Jo knows about Hunk. I...haven't gotten up the courage to tell Hunk about Jo yet.

[willing_sheath]

[She nods, rather surprised that it hadn't been the other way around... Hunk was here... he knew what this place was and what it did to people... and the positions they were all forced into...]

[But then again... perhaps it was easier to start with the new arrival... and make him understand what was necessary for survival here... for as long as she'd been here, there would have to be someone.]

And... how did Jo-san react...?

[unphase]

[maybe it's because Hunk knows what this place does to people is what's making her so reluctant to tell him. she hates how this place takes things like sex and love and makes them sordid...dirty.

and she knows Jo. she knows he loves her, but she also knows that he'll have to pick a submissive. she doesn't know who it will be, but she already wants to scratch their eyes out.

she sighs and tears well up] He...didn't take it well. He didn't get angry, but--but in a way, angry would've been easier to take.

[willing_sheath]

[She nods. Oh did she understand that... by the time she had confessed everything to Okita she had found herself wishing he would beat her and turn her out... even though their contract protected her from that exact thing. But it wasn't about contracts. It wasn't about Dominants and submissives. It was about emotion... imperfect, flawed emotion.]

[She squeezes Tinya's hand.]

What... does he want? What do you want?

(cw: misogynistic term)

[unphase]

[she's used to angry. angry confrontations with her mom about every subject under the sun. anger at her biological father for never being around. anger at Bgztlian High Society for treating her like an outcast just because she happened to be half-Terran. broken hearts, she doesn't know how to deal with]

He--he wants me. And I...want them both. [she trembles with emotion] I really am a whore.

[willing_sheath]

If that is true, then we both are... [she says quietly, closing her eyes tightly and she turns to press her forehead into her hair.] How... do you think Hunk-san will react...?

[She didn't know what to say yet, not really... not without a view on all sides... but even once she got that far... there weren't really answers to be had...]

[unphase]

[the reply is automatic] Don't call yourself that. [she sighs] ...I have no idea. He's a gentleman, so he'll probably want to step aside and do the "right" thing. But I don't want him to do that. I want them both. Can't I have both?

[willing_sheath]

[She nods to that. She could easily see Hunk doing that, just as Vash had... Though to be fair, it was not the same. Vash cared for her, but he didn't love her. It wasn't difficult to walk away from something that didn't exist in the first place.]

I... want to say yes... but it depends on them... and what they can accept...

[unphase]

[she can see him doing that, too, and it terrifies her. but giving him up is out of the question. she can't do it, she won't do it. and if it brands her as the worst kind of sinner in her world, so be it]

I--I haven't told Hunk yet. I haven't had the courage.

[willing_sheath]

[There were worse things in the world than loving too much. She tried to tell herself that as well--though hers was complicated by three of her four loves being from opposing factions of a war...]

[She tightens her hold on Tinya at those words. God, did she know that feeling. It was why things with Okita had blown up the way they had--because she hadn't had the courage to tell him about her dealings with the Ishin Shishi]

I understand... but... you have to...

...

Don't leave it go the way I did...

[unphase]

[at least Tinya doesn't have that problem. they're simply two very different men she loves for very different reasons.

and Tinya squeezes more tightly back. she knew that if anyone in this place would understand, it would be Tomoe]

I--I won't. I know that I can't it's just--how do I do it?