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[willing_sheath]

[A standard pre-recorded message starts:]

Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system. [There are a few long moments of dead silence before someone draws a breath speaks in a stiff, uncomfortable tone:] Himura Tomoe... [and another long few seconds of silence where she apparently didn't realize how to stop the recording.] is not available. At the tone, please record your message. When you have finished recording, you may hang up or press one for more options. To leave a callback number, press five.

[BEEP]



[ooc; for action spam to be counted as log activity feel free to comment to my annual log under the appropriate month]

Comments

[embracethewind]

[ while reading the note she beautifully had written with an exemplary calligraphy and neat drawing, souji goes to her apartment in the down though he doesn't knock at her door, instead he slips a note under with a simple emoji.

'∠( ᐛ 」∠)_'


sitting on his heels and waiting. ]

[willing_sheath]

[How long will he wait to see her reaction? If it's more than a few minutes then he may still be crouched there when she returns from trying to choke down some of the "food" offered in the building. She stops in the stair well and just stares at the sight before her, seeing him causing the same myriad of emotions to rise up inside her, that same chokehold as before... until something warm pulls out in front again.]

[Whatever he was doing... he was being an imp again. She felt like she hadn't seen this side of him since before everything had happened with the frozen heart sickness... At least not directed toward her...]

[Maybe it was was too forward for where they were at now... but it is enough of a relief that she doesn't care. She steps slowly and silently toward her door, before reaching out the toe of one foot to poke him in the ass.]

What are you doing?

[embracethewind]

[ mmm... she might be asleep. he could wait a little longer since he had nothing to do in his day off until having dinner with constance. it's hard staying away when he promised tinya to leave tomoe alone, call it indebtedness for protecting him or an attempt to repent for his sins, but something warm pulls him back to that woman. to that creepy, pitiful... beautiful, willowy, dark-eyed woman.

no. stop it.

what tomoe doesn't know... he poured enough alcohol in the fruit punch constance prepared that he's slightly relaxed and pleasant to go to tomoe's home and pull pranks on the lady. what his senses didn't expect... if she were bushi, she would have contemplated the sheen of his blade. instead — ]

I-- Itaii! Wh--

[ with a poked expression, it turns into a shriek of surprise at seeing her there behind him. finally, he's all teary, still squatting. ]

Wh-- Why are you there!? Are you also a ghost!?

[willing_sheath]

[And so the prankster is pranked instead...]

[She raises a brow and almost laughs at the questions.]

That is likely debatable. [She was kind of dead, after all. Several times over. She produces her keys in a slightly sardonic manner.] I was attempting to eat breakfast, though it is difficult to call what is served here food. [She steps slightly past him to unlock the door.] That doesn't answer why you are squatting in front of my door.

[embracethewind]

[ s-sob. she's not marcus! /tsuntsuntsun

immediately, he stands on his feet next to her as she unlocks the door. ] I... should've brought you something from Constance's cooking. We spent the Christmas Eve together.

Uhmm... [ before he could answer, if she's already opening the door, the wind made by the motion sways the note with the emoji towards her feet, visible enough for her to see...


'∠( ᐛ 」∠)_'


he looks at her with an innocent-like face. ]

[willing_sheath]

I see--ara--?

[:|]

[Handwritten... emojies...]

[She just stares at the note for a moment (not... really recognizing what it's supposed to be... she doesn't speak emoji that well beyond smiles and frowns...).]

...

Did you... hand-deliver an emoji...?

[Yes, she really needs you to confirm this because it seems too silly to her practical mind. Ok, no, scratch that. She can totally see him doing this.]

[embracethewind]

[ ah — oopsie! he can't help but laugh with cheeks flushed because of the fruit punch. ]

I did! Hope you know what that means...

[ what is he implying? he doesn't even know. just being his usual, dork self. or not? ]

[willing_sheath]

[She bends down to retrieve the paper, frowning at the drawing. God she was bad with these...]

I'm afraid not... [Was she even looking at it the right way?]

[embracethewind]

[ oh, tomoe. opening his arms excited — ]

I'm here so you don't feel alone! And to give you money. And to help you with quota! I'm sure Constance wouldn't mind if it's you!

[ souji, stop. ]

[willing_sheath]

[And just like that all of those confused emotions have returned, panic pulling out in the lead quickly. God, had she misinterpreted the gift and the message after all!?]

No--[She reaches out a hand to stop him if he attempts to close in on an embrace.] No, no, no. [She studies him closer for a moment] Are you drunk? [Actually she really thinks he might be...] What do you think you're doing!? You're sure Constance won't mind--don't be an idiot! Why are you here, Okita-san? What possessed you to come here like this?

[embracethewind]

[ no, no. the gift was well-intentioned, and none of this would make sense if he hadn't been drunk.

an embrace? huh, he didn't think about it. he flinches at her scolding, fists going up in fright as to protect himself. p-puppy eyes? ]

D-Don't yell at me! I had a day off, I wanted to let my guard down for a day and we--we could have tea in the gift I gave you.

[willing_sheath]

[When it doesn't seem as if he is going to swoop in on her she lowers her hand again, but she doesn't stop frowning considering he said nothing about the problem in his previous statement.]

Quota. Why are you bringing quota up with me--no, with anyone--at all when you are intending to marry Constance? What are you thinking!?

[If only she had been this adamant for herself...]

[embracethewind]

[ at the mention of constance, his facial expression eases a little as he holds himself. ]

I... I proposed to her. With a ring. Since she's to become my bride, I wanted you to become our mistress, since she adores you.

It would hurt less if I was with you today.

[ likely after this, she will slap him in the face. ]

[willing_sheath]

[She just stares at him for a solid ten seconds, too dumbfounded even for words. Finally she gives her head a momentary shake to pull herself out of it before raising one hand to her eyes in... disbelief? Amazement? Frustration? All of the above?]

No.

[She doesn't slap him. She moves through the doorway and promptly slams it behind her. If his face happens to be in the doorframe? Sucks to be him.]

[embracethewind]

[ even in the haze of drunkenness, he's in suspense waiting for an answer.

and the negative answer coupled with her slamming the door on his nose pulls a whine out of him, rubbing on it with both hands before stamping then on the closed door. ]

To--Tomoe-san! I wanted to ask before doing anything first! I'm not playing any games with you. I want Constance to be happy, but only if you would be happy as well.

Or at least-- at least, being with her instead of with me!

[willing_sheath]

[She stands, leaning on the closed door with her hand still over her eyes trying to sort out what was going through her mind while seething at the same time.]

[And of course he wouldn't just go. No, that would make her life far too easy...]

[With a growl she turns and throws the door open again.]

You--do you have any idea how insulting this is? You showing up here and propositioning me for--for a practice fuck?

Constance and I are not lovers. Do you not realize that you can love someone without it being about sex!? [She just wants to throttle him. To shake him until his brains fall out, it isn't as though he uses them anyway.] Did you even ask her about this before showing up? Or are you just acting without thinking of the consequences again!?

[embracethewind]

[ for a moment, for a single moment, the idea of leaving crossed his mind — his body jolts backwards on reflex, listens to what she says in anger and lowers his head in failure. ]

You-- You're not a practice fuck. [ did he mess this up? yes, he did mess this up. idiot. ] I realize, but... how in this city? It could've been easier back home.

[ laced fingers, both thumbs playing with each other. ] I... did not. I... I just wanted to see you today. I don't want to hurt you anymore with my presence but here I am, still seeking you even when I promised I wouldn't reach you again.

[willing_sheath]

And what else would you call it? Wanting to sleep with me to make yourself feel better later.

[She grits her teeth.] And how exactly do you think Constance would feel about you coming here? For that? [She takes a step forward, still holding the door.] Let me tell you: she will assume that she was not enough--that you wanted more than what she could give you. And do you know how I know this? [She can feel the prick of tears behind her eyes and she hates it.] Because you did it to me. After we admitted feelings for each other. After I stepped away from my closest friend and ally here. After I had thought we were exclusive to each other you went to another woman's bed. Not because of any city trick but just because you were "drawn to her"... using quota as the excuse...

And you... what? Think Constance will not be hurt because she cares for me? That she wouldn't be hurt more by that fact? That the man she loves went back to the woman she had felt second to the entire time she had been with you before?

[She just glares at him in disbelief. Was he really this dense? Really?]

...

Go home, Okita-san.

[embracethewind]

[ okay, that... fades all the alcohol away from his system. ] No! It's not like that!

How dare you--! I am with her because I-- I-- [ dammit! he doesn't dare to say those words, not because constance's unworthy of them. ] How can you be exclusive to another when this city's tempting you to do the opposite!? For quota or just to prevent anyone else from getting into trouble or for simple pleasure!? [ at the mention of said 'closest friend and ally', without recalling a thing from the past, that old ache comes back in a flaring emotion, hidden in a snide tone. ] You cannot be exclusive when there's a part of you that will long for more than one person... [ before he adds anything else, he looks away with eyes shut. unfortunately, at the latter, they shut way tighter. ]

N... No... [ a slow shake of his head. ] ... Is-- Is that how she had felt when-- when we were together the first time? [ a hand hides half his face. ] Wh-- Why am I here? I don't even love you, I do this for her, since she's so insistent for us three being together...

[willing_sheath]

YOU TRY! [She actually shouts, tears welling and beginning to slip.]

...

You try. And for god's sake, you talk to your partner. Plan for it. If she truly doesn't care it's one thing--but you don't just... do it and then come crawling back for forgiveness...

[She can feel the lump in her throat and she hates it.]

Yes. She did. And she probably still does.

[She shakes her head, tears still escaping against her will.] As long as I am here I will always be there for Constance. [She shakes her head again.] But I will not go to your bed. I will not live under your roof. And I will not contract with you. Because this [she motions between them] is all that we do. We argue. We fight. We hurt each other. And I'm not subjecting myself to it anymore.

[embracethewind]

[ at her yelling and sobbing, he jolts to look at her with wide eyes, shaken and ashamed of himself for making her cry, as he did with sei many times. no... no, no, no, this isn't what he wants for her to spend the christmas. after her final saying, tears bud at the corner of his eyes and fall through his cheeks. even when he doesn't love her, that same old ache hurts the same as when he found out about constance and the hoodie man.

he shares that same lump in his throat so his voice is low and different than usual. ]

I... did... I did the same with... with Kamiya-san back home. And in the end... in the end we were always back to each other. [ a step back, hands joined as if in a prayer. ] I don't expect you to understand, nor I expect you to become my Submissive once more. I'm... [ it's been a while since he cried this hard. ] ... I'm sorry for what I did to you. I... I came to visit you just to spend the day with you as friends. I did not think properly because of my intoxication.

[ he doesn't care if she pushes him, or if she slaps him or punches him or kicks him in the nuts, his arms open to wrap her frame in an embrace, a non-invasive embrace. ]

You don't have to love me anymore, if you still do so...

[willing_sheath]

[She bristles when he embraces her, her back going ram-rod straight, not expecting it. Another wave of anger moves through her in a wave--and, as it always seemed to happen once he was touching her, she wilts, the anger being swallowed up by the sadness and hurt, her wall crumbling.]

[She doesn't return the embrace, but she doesn't push him away either. Not yet. When she speaks her voice is small and quavering]

I told you once... that you don't just stop loving someone... Love... doesn't work that way... [She closes her eyes tight, sending the last few tears cascading down her cheeks.] But I need you to leave now, Souji...

[She doesn't even realize what she's said.]

[embracethewind]

[ as expected, the embrace isn't returned but it's alright, her anger has stopped at least. his temple leans against hers.

in a low voice — ]

You still love me... don't you, Tomoe-san? [ when she says his first name, another tear can't hold itself any longer. ] ... After many things I've done to you... why would you still love a man like me? You already apologized for taking away the woman I knew. What's there to forgive on my side? You should forgive me...

[ and she's asking him to leave. seems fair. ]

I want Constance. She has everything I've desired in a woman... [ if she were like sei, gods, she would be 100+ % perfect! ] ... I'll make her happy. My life is hers to do as she likes.

... I'm sorry I cannot give you what you seek.

[willing_sheath]

[She doesn't answer. She doesn't need to. She still loves him. She always will. No matter what he did, it wouldn't erase that love.]

[The old resentment creeps forward as he speaks of Constance again, the darker thoughts of being replaced by a better version still there. They always would be as well.]

[She swallows thickly, finally speaking to his last statement.]

So am I...

[She lifts her hands, not to return the embrace but to find their way between them, pushing lightly against his chest.]

Please... go now...

[embracethewind]

[ if he knew many more things, that would have been the problem. why love someone who has failed her considerably and still upsets her with his idiocy?

to him, no one's a better version of someone else. what he feels for sei and constance is different, only constance achieved the impossible by making him fall for her greatly and want to marry. however, what he could see was how the spitefulness consumed this woman's heart, and constance's heart isn't tarnished with mean thoughts. as much as souji cares for tomoe, such mean thoughts he discerned in her and how he must have loved a different tomoe are the reasons why anything else can't happen.

it's not wise, it's unhealthy, it's unfair. and yet, he can't help not caring, not worrying, not giving her some of that love that was there once like this. ]

It's alright, Tomoe-san...

[ and of course, he doesn't resist as she breaks the contact between them, his expression reflects the grief and shame of the proposition. with a step behind and eyes closed, he lowers his head in a bow and turns to leave, maybe expecting she will stop him from going, but he rather go to constance if asked to stay.

this was probably a mistake. ]