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[willing_sheath]

[A standard pre-recorded message starts:]

Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system. [There are a few long moments of dead silence before someone draws a breath speaks in a stiff, uncomfortable tone:] Himura Tomoe... [and another long few seconds of silence where she apparently didn't realize how to stop the recording.] is not available. At the tone, please record your message. When you have finished recording, you may hang up or press one for more options. To leave a callback number, press five.

[BEEP]



[ooc; for action spam to be counted as log activity feel free to comment to my annual log under the appropriate month]

Comments

[goldenglasses]

T-Tomoe! Wait! [Oh no! He's not leaving it that way! Quickly reaching out to touch her shoulder.] Wait! We both do deserved love! I do believe that! I do!

[willing_sheath]

[For the first time since he dragged her back out into the snow and all the way to the Down she looks him directly in the eyes, though her expression remains stony now that she's retreated back behind her mask.]

Do you think I'm blind? I know you believe that for me. But not yourself. Your every action screams it. You've been looking for an excuse to push me away since Al Danahab, I just refused to be moved. Did you think I couldn't see it? Or did you not even realize you were doing it?

[She moves to step away from his hand.]

But you win... Not because you are undeserving. Not because you are dangerous. Not because you are a Plant, or a monster or any of the other reasons I am sure you tell yourself...

...

Only for Okita-san. Nothing to do with you...

[goldenglasses]

I think everyone deserves love. [He tries to correct firmly, but also without sounding angry.] That includes me as well. I am just tired of seeing the people I care about getting hurt and upset because of me.

I don't want you to leave this roof thinking that you don't deserve love. Everyone deserves love. I am just sorry that I don't feel the same as you towards me. [Even if he finds it insane she feels a romantic love for him at all. That's not the point of this.]

What I still need is your love as a friendship. I just can't continue to be more than that and hurt Okita who does love you.

[willing_sheath]

I never said that I didn't... [she looks away again, struggling to keep the mask in place.] And I already knew that... you don't need to apologize, I shouldn't have said anything to begin with...

[Because how was she supposed to act now? Where was the line? What was acceptable and what wasn't? She didn't know... What was friendship? The empty pleasantries offered to and given by neighbors with nothing behind it? What she offered her father and brother for so many years? Unending support and understanding from her side... and nothing in return...]

[Because look what happened when she asked for something in return...]

[goldenglasses]

So, we can still be friends, right? Get coffee sometime? Hand out and talk? Maybe dinner once in awhile?

Have you ever been to a movie? I haven't in years. [Hundreds of them.] Maybe we should go watch one soon.

[willing_sheath]

Yes...

[She shakes her head to the rest. She had never seen one, perhaps she would like it, but she couldn't think on something so... unnecessary right now. Not when she felt like she was losing the only footing she'd gained in this wretched place more and more by the second.]

Maybe...

[She pulls her coat more tightly around her. She needed a drink. She needed a lot of drinks. Anything to make this pain in her chest and the building pressure in her skull go away. If she was lucky they might sell to her on her own somewhere...]

I need to go now...

[Before she faltered more. It was all too close to the surface. She needed time to bury it all again. She was a fool too have let anything come out in the first place...]

[She steps back again, moving toward the door again.]

[goldenglasses]

Tomoe-- I-- [He doesn't want to leave it like this. He wants to do more. Say more. Something. Anything! But he doesn't know what to do or say. So he lets his hand slowly drop. Putting them both back into his pockets.

God. Is this how Meryl and Milly usually feel?]

I'll... I guess I'll see you later?

[willing_sheath]

[She hums in response, nodding as she opens the door.]

...

Take care of yourself, Vash-san...

[She moves through the door then, leaving him behind on the roof.]

[She takes the stairs slowly at first... then faster and faster until she goes sprawling on one of the landings halfway down, gasping on her knees as she tries to hold everything back and keep those gasps from becoming sobs. Finding her feet again she makes it the rest of the way to the bottom floor and out onto the street, heedless of her personal safety and the danger in the Down. In a way, she almost welcomed it... as she had on the road from Edo to Kyoto...]

[Anything... to make it finally stop...]

[goldenglasses]

[Vash watches her go. An ache in his heart and wanting to chase after her, but thinking that giving her space might be what she wants right now. He looks up at the sky with a frown.] Oh Rem... [He sighs and once more wishes she was here to guide him. Thinking that she would know exactly what to do.] What should I have done, Rem? Did I do the right thing?

[Running his hand through his hair he shakes his head.] Why does it seem like I only hurt the people I care the most about? But what else could I have done? [He just didn't love her as anything more than a really close friend right now. He counts and waits. Making sure to stay on the roof for at least twenty minutes before he dares to head inside.]