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[willing_sheath]

[A standard pre-recorded message starts:]

Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system. [There are a few long moments of dead silence before someone draws a breath speaks in a stiff, uncomfortable tone:] Himura Tomoe... [and another long few seconds of silence where she apparently didn't realize how to stop the recording.] is not available. At the tone, please record your message. When you have finished recording, you may hang up or press one for more options. To leave a callback number, press five.

[BEEP]



[ooc; for action spam to be counted as log activity feel free to comment to my annual log under the appropriate month]

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[willing_sheath]

[She shifts, just enough to set the frame and box in her right hand on the night stand so that she has both hands free and can properly embrace him. She holds back her first thought: that loving her was a curse. That his first mistake had been wanting to make her happy to begin with--because look at the two who had come before him who had promised the same. But she keeps that to herself as well. She had been drowning in these negative thoughts long enough. There was the smallest patch of sunlight reaching her right now, and she needed to reach back.]

Souji-- [She turns her face against his neck. She feels so much more solid than she did before. This... this she was used to. This she was familiar with. She was a support pillar and always had been. She knew how to do this...] --it's done now... and we're still here. So we can move forward... right...? [It was more than she had gotten with Kiyosatto or Kenshin--to have a second chance after things fell apart.]

[embracethewind]

( isn't it the other way around? he feels himself the cursed one since he's a failure in how to make the women in his life happy, always making them cry because of his bluntness. sae, kohana, kamiya... and now tomoe, are the women who had to suffer his lack of handling things as a man would do, instead of as bushi would do. he feels powerless even when everyone back home looked up to him as the strongest and most reliable swordsman inside the shinsengumi.

he was supposed to be her pillar, since the first time they met. she could cry on his shoulder, find solace in his company when sleeping (and more than just sleeping) and not suffer from living as the slave LIEs wanted her to act as. now, is it the right time to start again between them?

the tears keep flowing as he clings to her for dear life, his throat unable to let him mutter a single word, wanting everything from her and giving anything in return. )

[willing_sheath]

[Tomoe could support him... and he could support her. That was how it should be, and how it never was before. It couldn't have been like that with Kenshin, not with how much she had hidden from him. And it couldn't have been with Okita before now for the same reason...]

[But now... now that everything was out in the open, maybe she actually had a chance. If she wasn't strangling herself with that self-hatred, if she had his forgiveness, it was almost like having Kenshin's... or Kiyosatto's... The well-wishes and flowery words of people who had not been in the situation were predominately meaningless--but Okita was part of the war and had tasted that betrayal. And he had forgiven her, enough to come back... so now... Maybe she could actually allow herself be supported and protected.]

[Maybe she could allow herself to be happy.]

[Tomoe turns enough to be able to press her lips to his jaw, whispering "It's alright" between slow gentle kisses. She lets her hands smooth over his back before beginning pull back, her fingers finding his arms, drawing down to catch at his elbows and pull him forward with her to sit on the edge of her bed.]

[embracethewind]

( if he were the man, the bushi from before coming to duplicity, as he told her before leaving, he could have killed her... and died along with her that same moment or later. perhaps forgiving her is treason to his own sense of bushidō or even to the rules of the shinsengumi, however, a world without her now is unbearable to live in for him, knowing she would let him follow his dream and still feel her love without questioning him if he really loved her back.

her kisses halt those thoughts as well as her soft whispers, her breath and the sensation of her lips causing shudders throughout his body. with tomoe motioning him towards the bed, souji sits on the edge first and with a hand reaching under her long dress for her leg makes her straddle on his lap, the other resting on her lower back to press her against him as further as he can.

eyes are still dampened with more tears, but those aren't tears from sadness. )

[willing_sheath]

[She had intended to sit beside him, but easily moves onto his lap instead, shifting as close as their bodies will allow. She lifts her hands to cup his jaw, thumbs wiping at the tears streaking his cheeks before following with the press of her lips to his eyelids, trailing soft kisses down to the corner of his mouth.]

[embracethewind]

( the closeness of her body is what he craved the most after more than a week of being away from home, albeit it is the loving touch on both lower sides of his face trying to get rid of the left over tears, the silky softness of her lips through the kisses that make him feel safe and confident on his actions once more, all of it tilts his head to look at her gaze that is too close to his own.

through narrowed eyes, souji lets out a whisper with the only three words he thought would never say to anyone in his entire life, that would be alien to those who know him better even than himself. )

I love you...

[willing_sheath]

She looks back, brow pressed to his, far too close for her eyes to focus. Hearing the words again makes her feel light headed and she feels her emotions and words bottleneck in her throat as they always seem to--but no... She has said it already... just not directly, word for word. Her fingers flex at his jaw, her eyes sliding shut before whispering her answer:]

I love you too, Souji... [She shifts just enough to press a soft, open kiss to his lips]

[embracethewind]

( he answers back to the kiss with an open-mouthed one too, half-lidded eyes staring at what he's able to see of her face before shutting them completely. wrapping her in his arms, the kisses are slow and tender, sighing in between a couple of times. they feel different, reassuring his feelings towards her. )

[willing_sheath]

[She sighs in return, answering those slow tender kisses with her own, and there is something warm and cathartic about it all. She had never felt this way before--her last night with Kenshin had been close. The resolution of what she intended to do had put her at ease and allowed her to let him in more fully--but the final barrier of the truth had still been there. But now... Souji essentially knew everything save for the finer details. There was nothing left to know, no secrets hiding to taint what was happening... and he was still there...]

[He had judged her, and found her worthy of forgiveness... and while she would always question herself, the fact that he saw her for what she was and still came back meant the world to her now. At least for the moment she really could let go of all of it, let go of the pain and anger, the betrayal and fear of retribution... and just be. And she knew... there was no one else in Duplicity that could offer this to her--only someone who had lived during bakumatsu, had been affected by it and possibly by her choices could offer her any sort of absolution that mattered.]

[It was likely fleeting, just as many of her emotions had been in the months since waking in Duplicity, but for the time being she wanted to revel in it.]

[embracethewind]

( the last few days had been a conundrum, trying to reflect on his true feelings since he met kamiya, taking in what he had talked to ana. he was always quite slow and foolish on what other women could feel for him, assuming that everything he did for them was enough or everything to make them happy, without thinking that there would be the slightest chance for any of them to inevitably being the one to win his heart.

only tomoe did it without even realizing, as usual. however, she wasn't like the other girls. she wasn't a daughter of bushi who couldn't understand the importance of duty, what he wanted to achieve by joining the shinsengumi, following his master in difficult times and giving his life for what he believes, embodied in a single man. more than that... she knows he's an oni, a man without a mercy to kill. she understands, since her husband is the same as him, and he knows her heart has been in a dark place out of sadness and grief. he's unable to blame her for doing it out of love too, which if he had met her before without being in duplicity, he would never have understood her reasons in their fullness.

now souji can understand what kamiya tried to do so many times just to be close to him. it's the same emotion he's going through right now as they kiss. )

[willing_sheath]

[She felt like she could stay with him like that forever, wrapped in his arms, getting lost in his gentle kisses. She sighs against his lips, wrapping her arms around him to pull closer, feeling as though they couldn't possibly get close enough in that moment.]

[embracethewind]

( if they could kiss as they breath all the same, they would do that forever. instead, souji disengages from their kissing to let a hand drop, lower the zipper and unbutton his pants. the need of being inside her is too much that he shifts a little on his seat to take down his pants and boxers a few inches, his cock coming out and having a hold of it to stroke hastily. his eyelids are lowered looking at her in a plea for tomoe to do the same with her undergarments, him trying to feel erect for the deed. )

[willing_sheath]

[She exhales lightly as he shifts, color finding her cheeks. She lifts herself up so that her weight doesn't impede his ability to adjust his clothing. She leans in and presses her face his neck, shifting herself to allow her to pull her skirt up and out of the way so that the fabric wouldn't block him. She pulls close again, setting her forehead to his temple, watching him in that too-close manner again before setting her fingertips to his mouth, pressing lightly on his bottom lip to ask for entry.]

[embracethewind]

( it was obvious what they wanted, after everything had fallen apart between them that night. he missed – gods, he missed being inside of her, he wanted to know if she had missed him too by doing this. lovingly, he grinds his forehead against hers, a peachy color on his cheeks. a hand takes hers, spreading her fingers with his own before taking one with his mouth, sucking and licking gently, almost sensuous, enough to keep it on the next one, doing the same, taking his time with each, and the last one, to moist the three of them for her to use. )

[willing_sheath]

[She presses back, almost nuzzling and exhales slowly as he takes her fingers into his mouth, her color rising faster with the feel of his tongue roaming over each digit in turn and heat pooling quickly in her belly. When he releases her fingers she replaces them with her lips, kissing him deeply as she reaches between her thighs to help lubricate herself, stroking between her folds and down to her entrance, dipping first one then two fingers inside to spread that wetness.]