[This entry is disjointed and panicked again, tears having smeared the words again]
I don't know what happened, what came over me... It had to have been the food, it's the only thing I can think of... But I hadn't eaten in two or three days, not since the day Enishi appeared... I was so hungry... The rest is a blur... I came on the man from orientation with one of the albinos in the caves... She invited me to join them and I just... went... like it was nothing... I look back now and I am sickened by my actions. By how easily I just gave myself to them without a thought... My god what must he think of me? I cannot bare the thought of meeting him again. I am too ashamed of what happened...]
[no date]
I don't know what happened, what came over me... It had to have been the food, it's the only thing I can think of... But I hadn't eaten in two or three days, not since the day Enishi appeared... I was so hungry... The rest is a blur... I came on the man from orientation with one of the albinos in the caves... She invited me to join them and I just... went... like it was nothing... I look back now and I am sickened by my actions. By how easily I just gave myself to them without a thought... My god what must he think of me? I cannot bare the thought of meeting him again. I am too ashamed of what happened...]