[This entry is similarly rushed, though less panicked than the last]
So much has happened in the last day that I do not know where to begin or how to untable it all--and I do not have the time to do so. My fate has been decided for months and the time has come to face it. I will go to them. I cannot take the chance of them harming Enishi, though I know it is folly to think that his fate will be any different than mine regardless of what I do. Still, if there is any chance that they may free him I must take it. I will go to them, though I have no intention of giving them what they want, though I do not know how they would use the truth regardless. I do not know how I might stop their plan from unfolding, but at the very least I can give them false information so as not to aid it.
Anata... if you read this... I am sorry... for everything. I will not be foolish enough to ask your forgiveness, not after all this time. What we have had here, even if it was built on a foundation of lies, in the end what I feel for you is real. It is true that you stole my happiness once... but you have given me another in return. You swore last night that you would protect the happiness I have lost once to this chaos... I do not expect to see you again, so the way I wish for you to keep that promise is to find the way to protect without killing that you spoke of. I know you must continue to kill in this war... but in the end, I believe that you will save so many more people than you kill... That is your truth. That is who you are. A man who wishes to protect, not a man who wishes to kill. No matter what, please remember that. No matter what do not lose yourself in Choshuu's madness.
December 31st 1864
So much has happened in the last day that I do not know where to begin or how to untable it all--and I do not have the time to do so. My fate has been decided for months and the time has come to face it. I will go to them. I cannot take the chance of them harming Enishi, though I know it is folly to think that his fate will be any different than mine regardless of what I do. Still, if there is any chance that they may free him I must take it. I will go to them, though I have no intention of giving them what they want, though I do not know how they would use the truth regardless. I do not know how I might stop their plan from unfolding, but at the very least I can give them false information so as not to aid it.
Anata... if you read this... I am sorry... for everything. I will not be foolish enough to ask your forgiveness, not after all this time. What we have had here, even if it was built on a foundation of lies, in the end what I feel for you is real. It is true that you stole my happiness once... but you have given me another in return. You swore last night that you would protect the happiness I have lost once to this chaos... I do not expect to see you again, so the way I wish for you to keep that promise is to find the way to protect without killing that you spoke of. I know you must continue to kill in this war... but in the end, I believe that you will save so many more people than you kill... That is your truth. That is who you are. A man who wishes to protect, not a man who wishes to kill. No matter what, please remember that. No matter what do not lose yourself in Choshuu's madness.
I love you.
Farewell