It has been several weeks and we continue to dance around each other. What are we now? Are we husband and wife? Is our marriage dissolved? Our vows were 'until death parts us', and death indeed parted us. We sleep in the same room if not in the same bed. He has reverted back to sleeping against walls with his sword propped against his shoulder. I imagine that happened almost instantly after my death and why would it change? Outside of our little house in Otsu he has had no where that has been a home. No where that has been safe.

I don't know what to do. I don't know what is proper. I want my husband back but do I even deserve him? And what does he want? I believe he is in the same state. This shouldn't be possible, we shouldn't be put in this situation at all. I believe he wants to touch me, to be close to me, and he can't bring himself to for the same reason.

Were I a bolder person, perhaps I would be brave enough to bridge that gap on my own... but I am a coward and a fool...